Tears streamed down my cheeks. I tapped the screen on my phone to close down the social media app I was reading through. My heart physically hurt at the amount of hatred I'd absorbed. Each beat pounded harder, and the overwhelming melancholy gushed through my veins.
What was I doing?
Arguments. Nasty words. Judgment. Hate. Hate. Hate.
This is what I'm feeding my soul? My mind? My heart?
Unhealthy toxic energy filtered into my system, and the more I'd scroll through my feed, the more lost I felt.
I can't have this.
Not with what is occurring within my family.
This black-and-white mentality is destructive. Telling people how to feel or what to think, or I call it not enough judgments,
You aren't spiritual enough.
You aren't holistic enough.
You aren't autistic enough.
You aren't liberal enough.
You. Aren't. Enough.
And because you aren't enough on one side, then you are persecuted. The grey is terrible. No one can live in the grey, even though that's where I live 90% of the time.
One life doesn't fit all.
I refuse to feed the beast because I see what it does. Hate devours people whole. I've dealt with it firsthand when people have come for us regarding homeschooling or autism.
I can't control what people write or say, but I control what I feed my heart because that echoes beyond me. It's a ripple effect. And my family needs all the optimism, hope, faith, love, and joy we can summon. I don't blindly walk through the love and light tunnel, but damn, what's wrong with some of that right now?
It's about balance.
Too much of one thing can burn out a person. It did me, torched me to the core. Sometimes I feel the blaze and know it's time to step back. Shift approaches. Release the emotions and energy that no longer serve me.
Please remember words hold weight.
Whether said or read.
What is nourishing you?
Well, I have been eating Swedish Meatballs that last couple of days.😁
Ooooooo, yummy!!!