The arrow of my mouse hovered over the prompt Leave Group, and with great joy, I did so.
Second time for the neighborhood group since moving here nearly two years ago, but this time was different. This was absolute.
The crude, aggressive, and unkind behavior of some tainted my view of this community which is sad and disappointing. Why would I partake in events where I was attacked, or particular family dynamics or the concern for pets were judged on the daily? Why would I subject myself or my family to that or share a space with those people?
Hard pass.
The inconsiderate nature of others is something I struggle with deeply. I realize this exists everywhere, but this community boasts positivity and love thy neighbor; yeah, that's not happening, maybe if you fall within the cliques but otherwise, no. I don't have time or emotional bandwidth for such nonsense.
But this morning, I went for a walk; the temperature was mild, and the wind had a cool tinge. The neighborhood was quiet. A couple walked by with smiles, waves, and "good mornings." Another woman walking two dogs waved from across the playground lawn.
This is my neighborhood: the tangible aspect, the people beyond the group. Beyond the insults, the digs, the passive-aggressive comments to stir the pot. Real people who greet you with smiles and waves. Their dogs love you up, and you talk about the fresh blooms near the trail. It was refreshing!
Social media, in general, I've backed off of, and it's lovely. However, feelings of anger and unhappiness, especially about where I live, aren't healthy. I have zero control over my neighbor's behaviors, nor can I change them, but I can approach it from my end in a productive way. My nervous system may have imploded, but I can't place myself in an emotional bubble of good vibes only; that's unrealistic and toxic.
Serenity now doesn't work.
Our neighborhood isn't perfect.
No neighborhood is.
I'm grateful for the few we are close with and know if we needed help, they would be at our front door within minutes.
Boundaries are essential on social media as they are in life.
I set the rules.
The term cancel culture is ridiculous as well. Just because I unfriend or unfollow doesn't make me unwilling to understand their beliefs. That's not it. I am unwilling to compromise regarding misogyny, racism, bigotry, religious abuse, and hatred for people based on who they love; that's protecting my peace. I’m not woke, a sheep, a snowflake, or any other Urban Dictionary absurd term being flung around that month. I read and research to form my own opinions. I don’t need a middle man to tell me how to feel, what to believe or what to do.
Our goal is to relocate to a large piece of land, have goats, chickens, a greenhouse, flower gardens, and quiet; it will happen, but for now, in this season, I'm focusing on the beautiful life all around me. That is something I don't want to miss out on, unlike Facebook groups.
Leave Group